When a prospective bride revealed that she would be using her fiancé’s surname after marriage, an acquaintance expressed mild surprise.
“I had the impression you were a staunch feminist.”
She answered, “I am. If I’m to be known by some guy’s name, I’d rather it be the guy I chose rather than the guy my mother chose.”
[Author unknown, but greatly appreciated! If you or anyone you know has a proprietary interest in this story please authenticate and I will be happy to credit, or remove, as appropriate.]
Don’t you just love this!
I ran across this several years ago; I’ve loved it ever since.
I’ve always empathized with the plight of women having to change their name. That must be so weird!
So I’ve always understood the desire to do the hyphenated thing. Or keeping their “maiden” name.
But that’s just taking mom’s guy’s name! I never looked at a marrying woman’s name dilemma in quite this way before!
But that’s not the only reason why I love the quote. I also love it because it reflects a sensibility that I find refreshing.
A sensibility about constraints.
Now you might point out that there really is another option. She and her prospective can take a new name, a created name. Okay, I guess that works on one level, but, clearly, very out of the mainstream different.
Sometimes the better way to go is to just work within the system.
Work within the constraints. Work with the constraints.
Sometimes, when none of the options are really that appealing, there’s really only one option left that’s productive.
Making it work.