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“We are not enemies, but friends.
We must not be enemies.
Though passion may have strained it must not break our bonds of affection.
The mystic chords of memory, stretching from every battlefield and patriot grave to every living heart and hearthstone all over this broad land, will yet swell the chorus of the Union, when again touched, as surely they will be, by the better angels of our nature.”
— President Abrahan Lincoln, first inaugural address, 1861.
For those of us in the U.S., we have just seen our democratic process play out once again in electing our President.
Once again, true to recent trends, the country is divided and polarized. The issues divide us, and there are many. Though the issues are quite complex, our discourse is often oversimplified, providing only the stark contrast and not the murky middle.
And we all too easily slip into demonizing the family, friends, and neighbors that hold the differing views.
Politicians and special interests have fed our frenzy with their onslaught of political ads that were unflinchingly, aggressively negative.
It has been like we are at war. With each other. A verbal civil war. Though far from civil.
It’s useful to recall that Lincoln’s words above were delivered on the eve of the American Civil War…
* * * * *
Today, while we are not at war with each other, the incivilities cannot be counted insignificant.
Perhaps you, like me, have experienced the polarization up close and personal.
People that I’ve called friends for many years are now estranged. We can’t seem to sustain a political conversation any more, in person or electronic. The views on both sides of the divide have hardened. What pushes us apart has overwhelmed what over the years had sustained our togetherness.
Can we — you, and me, and our political leaders —stop the demonizing?
Though our passionate opinions have strained our bonds and overshadowed our commonalities, we all have better angels, no?
Time we summon them up …
johnponders 
I know that Spielberg said the opening date of his new Lincoln biopic was deliberately set for after the election (so as not to be viewed as another Hollywood ploy to sway voters). But I’m still looking forward to it because I hope it will offer words of healing and unity for all of us. I recall, too well, the ‘blue state blues’ I experienced after the 2004 election. I’m happy with the outcome of the election but I’m sad about what my friends and family members, with differing views, are feeling. I hope we can all rise above it all.
Great blog John….especially the reference to the murky middle. That is where I live and no candidates fit that bill.
Suzanna, I am hopeful that the middle is murky only because we have been pushed so far to the sides … so perhaps with some movement back there is a middle ground for all of us to stand on?
If only all of our Congressmen and Senators were linked to your blog.
Now there’s an interesting thought! Ha!
Well said John!
John – sadly, there is no value placed on civility, or compromise, or making decisions that will benefit the most. That said, reading this and the comments suggests it is right for us to maintain hope, to believe that the better angels of our nature can still rule the day.
Know hope.
John . . . the big reason for all of this is because it is necessary and it is how our system is set-up. This all feels way too personal because it is and it has to be. Elections are about our collective, shared values. And as an OD guy, you know how powerful and emotional a values discussion can be in the workplace during a planning process. Now take that to a 350 million people level and it gets magnified.
I for one won’t apologize for making these election periods emotional and personal. My family, friends, and neighbors engage in very personal discussions about who I am and the decisions that I’ve made as a gay man who has decided to “live in the light” and stop lurking in the dark corners of our society.
“Policy discussions” about DOMA, ENDA, DADT, etc aren’t “policy discussions,” they are values discussions, which are personal and upsetting. There is implied judgement in those discussions and in the end there are people who are saying “in not so many words” that I am going to “hell”. It doesn’t get more personal than that.
Stop the demonizing? Sure. Our better angels? OK. I will try harder, but that is certainly a two way street. Please ask your straight friends if they will agree to this truce because I never wanted this fight in the first place.
Aren’t you glad you asked? 😉
Happy post-election day, John. See you at the polls in a few months (is there ever a time when we don’t have an election?)
Erik, great points, truly, and I track with you on all of them save one.
Stopping the demonizing and summoning our better angels is not a two-way street. You are implying that you are making your behavior conditional on others, and when you do that, you become powerless.
You and I, independently, unilaterally, can choose another approach. Your choice, and mine, will undoubtedly influence each other, and that dynamic is up for grabs, but the choice is not dependent on other choices.
Choose to be powerful. Choose to act consistent with your values, and not in response to others’ behaviors…
John,
If you promise to stop using your Facebook account as a Jehovah’s Witness-type of Democratic propaganda & recruiting outpost, I think that those of us on the 48% side would be more than amenable to a Beer Summit in the very near future!
PS: I still like Pat Benetar no matter how much my wife makes fun of me
Hey Pete.
Interesting proposition. Unfortunately, as proposed, I have to decline. That’s not a promise I can keep… With no conditions, though, the beer summit comes into play!
Beer Summit……huh? What ever happened to an old fashion beer quality team? Let the fishboneing begin!
Sorry I am late to add a response to this one! Personally I view the Political wrangling that takes place as a distraction that keeps the masses divided so the greedy politicians can take care of their own. If we are waiting for either party to solve our problems, then I have some swamp land to sell you. America was not built as a Democracy where majority rules, put a Republic; where every individual’s rights are protected. The more we delegate our responsibilities to our political leaders the weaker we become as a nation. This country seems to care more about what freebies they could get from the government, then looking inward asking how they could make a difference. Government use to be a very small part of GDP and the strength of this country was our communities along with a strong family units. Unfortunately 40% of children being born these days are to a single parent and government has more control over our society then every before. It’s time to stop complaining about getting hurt feelings and step up and make a difference.
Criminy, Mike; the wrangling is a conspiracy and all the politicians left and right and in between are in on it? Surely you are just blowing off steam …
The not a democracy but a republic comment is interesting; I’ll have to chew on that a bit.
What responsibilities are we delegating to our leaders?
And then you go off the rails. You want to live in yesterday’s world, with simpler problems and a whole lot less complex society. Good luck with that! Everything evolves, everything changes, including the role of government.
And who’s complaining about hurt feelings? Really? I’m just looking for productive conversation, reasonable compromise, and decision making…
Can you say more about how to step up and make a difference?