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Be who you are and say what you feel, because in the end those who matter don’t mind and those that mind don’t matter.
Love this.
Don’t you?
Basically, be yourself, says Dr. Seuss.
And he says that those that have a problem with that, well, by definition they don’t matter. In other words, people that take offense when we are being ourselves, how could they possibly be important to us?
And then there are those that don’t take offense when we are ourselves. They accept us, as we are. Who we are. How we are.
How could they not matter to us!
The inimitable Dr. Seuss has given us a quote that is so matter of fact! That’s the way it reads, doesn’t it? — Be who you are and say what you feel. Those that matter don’t mind. Those that mind, don’t matter.
But not so fast. Do you see what I did there?
I skipped the most important part.
“… in the end” is the killer phrase.
In the end, those that matter don’t mind. In the end, those that mind don’t matter.
In the end; as in when all is said and done.
Oh boy.
What does this mean, exactly?
I think it means that we need to be ourselves — to be true to ourselves — all the time, with everyone. Regardless of what they want, or what they think, or what they do.
It means that eventually we will come to know who matters and who doesn’t by if they mind or not. But if we’re not ourselves, we’ll never be able to tell!
Which means our being ourselves comes first. That’s required.
If we want to know.
But knowing is not what matters!
What matters is that we are ourselves.
Ironically, you being you — and me being me — makes us like Theodor Seuss Geisel.
Be who you are, and say what you feel.
In the end, that matters.
johnponders 
Oh no! Now you got me started! I once fully subscribed to this “…just be yourself…” concept, only to discover that it works about 25% of the time (or so)! And there’s a clear mathematical reason for that! I think many of us have seen “top-notch” managers beat goals and expectations in one operation, only to “self destruct” after moving to another location. Why is that? How can someone go from being a rising star to a shooting star?
I remember one “rising star” in particular who had “fixed” a major WEST coast operation, winning all sorts of awards and accolades along the way! He was then sent to “fix” a “problem location” in a major city on the EAST coast (to set himself up for a future promotion). He came in like a confident gang-buster, brought in several members of his (west coast) team members, and proceeded to operate by “being himself”. After several months, his confidence seemed to disappear as he became visibly perplexed with his inability to work his “fix-it magic”. Eventually, his “push-back” employees just started eating this guy’s lunch at will, so he packed up and went back to where he came from on the west coast.
So what happened? He failed to understand how basic personalities work (the 4 basic quadrants). He simply operated as “himself”, and failed to match frequencies with the people he was trying to lead. This is why operations managers and engineers often have great difficulty communicating (pragmatics vs. analyticals, e.g.)! The prags just want the “jist of it” while the anals want to break everything down to a molecular level before taking any action, which results in eye-rolling and sighing on both sides.
So, how does an autocratic leader communicate with people who are accustomed to a democratic one? Or a chaotic one?? If you pull someone out of a nice 100 degree Jacuzzi and toss them into a tub of ice water, you will probably get exactly what you’ve got coming (guess). Gangbusters usually wind up losing or firing countless employees, which is incredibly expensive. Or worse, the people will lay low and bide their time until they find a good chance to revolt (mutiny), resulting in a full-blown case of leadership failure.
So, don’t just “…be yourself…” as if it were a one-size-fits-all concept. Instead, as a leader, strive to meet others on a mutual (often THEIR) frequency, then slowly ease them out of their tub, and into another one. Of course, every situation is different, so the leader needs to identify where everyone resides (MBTI style, e.g.), then connect on their frequency (initially), then methodically move the team in the right direction. Some teams can be turned like a speedboat while others like a Naval Task Force. Move too slowly, and the enemy will sink some of your ships, but move too fast and you’ll sink a bunch of your own!
I’ve watched many managers fail because they BEGAN by being “themselves”, then wondering why everybody freaks out. Have you ever experienced someone bursting into room full of people and start loudly yucking it up and and jabbering away as if they’re in charge of the place (even though they’re not)? Totally obnoxious. A better way is to slowly move into the room and “mingle” by homing in on the prevailing frequency. Leaders should (most often) do the same when moving into a new job/operation (I understand there are exceptions).
I can’t help it, but “Situational Leadership” comes to mind again!
(P.S., John on MBTI: and you thought I wasn’t paying attention!)
I just LOVE Dr. Seuss. He has oftentimes been called an architect of social change. Thanks for the smile this morning, John.
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